How to Chug a Beer

From a Bottle

The most important thing to keep in mind when chugging beer from a bottle is to leave a gap for the air to escape.  There is not much you can do beyond relaxing your throat, and flat out pouring the beer down your gullet.  Any fancy manoeuvres and you risk breaking the bottle.

While pouring the beer down your throat you may feel a burning sensation.  That’s just the carbonation.  Ignoring that feeling is the difference between an amateur and a pro.

From a Can

The most obvious method to drink from a can is to mimic what you would do with a bottle.  But that’s just unimaginative.

My personal favourite is The Shotgun.  This is basically the same principle as puncturing that second airhole in the back of an apple juice can.  What you do is hold the beer horizontally, stab the beer can (near the bottom) and then bring the beer to your mouth and open the top.  The beer will come through the hole very quickly because of the airhole on the top.

There’s a few tips to help you perfect The Shotgun.  Firstly, when holding the can horizontally try to position it so there’s an airhole near the bottom (where you will be puncturing the can.)  I prefer to use a key to puncture the can because of the width and size.  If you stab the air pocket, very little beer will shoot you in the face. 

A good little add-on to The Shotgun is to crush the can and throw it over your shoulder.  It doesn’t really accomplish anything but it does make you look cool.

From a Cup

If you’re having trouble with any of the other methods, feel free to pour it into a cup.  Hopefully you won’t mind your friends making fun of you.  And if you need help chugging from a cup you probably shouldn’t be drinking beer. 

From a Keg

Firstly, wait until the bartender has gone on her break.  It’s important she’s gone for a while because you are working with limited time.  Then, what you need to do is hop over the bar, lay down beneath the tap, and just pour.  Relaxing your throat muscles is key because the beer comes out quicker than you would expect.  Hopefully, you can drink enough that you don’t need any more for the night because you will soon be forcefully removed from the bar.

Try not to execute this method until you’ve perfected chugging from a bottle, otherwise you will waste precious beer.

With a Straw

The straw is the beerchugger’s cheating device.  Most of us have been practicing how to use a straw since we were five years old.  If all else fails, drop a straw into that badboy and just go crazy.  Added bonus: depending on who you believe this may or may not help you get drunk quicker.

Hopefully, this little guide will help you become the life of the party.  But always remember: Please drink responsibly!